There are two issues with my name that pop up with astonishing regularity.
The first is the number of people who read my first name as “Markos”. I don’t know where they get that extra S at the end, but it happens a lot, and it’s genuinely puzzling to me. Is it because Marco is not a very common first name in the US, and that most of the wearers of that name spell it with a C? I suspect that a lot of people read Marko and have their brain’s autocomplete spit out Markos because that’s a somewhat common Greek name.
The second is the annoying reliability of someone saying “Polo” whenever some barista or fast food counter person calls out my first name to let me know my order is ready. 75% of the time, someone will go “POLO! Nyuk nyuk.” Fifty percent of the “Polo” people at least have the presence of mind to notice my pained smile and say something like “I bet you get that a lot.”
NO SIR, I’VE NEVER HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE AND OH MY GOD IT’S HILARIOUS.
I swear, it happens so often that I have started giving fake names to the counter people. I’ve even stopped using my Panera loyalty card because it puts my name right on the receipt and undermines my attempt to squeeze by as “Mark” or “Mike”.
I really need to get an easy-to-remember pen name with maybe some added stud cachet. Like “Thorn Magnum”, or “John Ringo”.
Before I got older, I often used Bob Noxious as a nom de jure.
Jayne’s a girl’s name.
Maybe you should get a cunning hat.
I created an AKA for myself when I was a kid, for fun. Never used it, and still have it available for immediate use in time of need.
And at my alma mater, there are several years of yearbooks with the Snapperski boys making their presence known. Me and two friends decided that getting our mugshots in just once wasn’t enough. The Snapperski boys, Tim, Dave and myself, appeared over the course of 3 years unshaven, dressed slovenly, and looking very hungover, unlike our actual pictures. good times, good times.
Dang. I could’a swore your name was Maj. L. Caudill…